life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The Explanation....

Maybe this is part of the answer!  I do not need an explanation from others. Nor should I be required to explain either, although I will confess that I would always like to get and give explanations for decisions and actions.  But, if it makes you smile, feels good, and does not hurt anyone…..then, shouldn't that be all the explanation needed.  It is that “does not hurt anyone” that is the tricky part of this equation.  That is where all of this gets really murky! 

Connection to others is one of the things I honor the most, but I have not been so good at it lately. I have lost some of my most treasured connections, partly because of my decision and partly because of theirs.  Both hurt equally as much.  The explanation is it does not matter what I do, when I do it, or how I do it eventually it is going to hurt me or those I love.  That is the explanation.

"Alone Again"  Gilbert O'Sullivan

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