life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Facing myself

No kidding!  Especially when reality is every bit of pain and grief I am feeling now…. is of my own doing.  I did not deliberately go out hunting to be hurt, but I was certainly blind enough to not see it coming.  Thinking that eventually if I did it good enough, if loved hard enough, long enough, strong enough, that I would eventually be good enough to be loved back in that same way.  It does not seem to work that way and now the only one I have to blame for this pain is me.....the only person I have to face.... is me.

"Doctor My Eyes"  Jackson Browne

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