life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, June 5, 2016

Facing myself


No kidding!  Especially when reality is every bit of pain and grief I am feeling now…. is of my own doing.  I did not deliberately go out hunting to be hurt, but I was certainly blind enough to not see it coming.  Thinking that eventually if I did it good enough, if loved hard enough, long enough, strong enough, that I would eventually be good enough to be loved back in that same way.  It does not seem to work that way and now the only one I have to blame for this pain is me.....the only person I have to face.... is me.


"Doctor My Eyes"  Jackson Browne

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