life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, June 26, 2016

Her wildest expectations

“What I want is what I've not got,  
And what I need Is all around me. 
Reaching and searching never stop”
Dave Matthews lyrics from “Jimi Thing”

Since the heart thing….I have found that having “no expectations”  is how I survive.  Having no expectations serves me well in creative artistic endeavors, medical tests and outcomes and most especially personal relationships.  Living without any expectations of anything or anyone means I can NOT be disappointed.  Any and every outcome was acceptable because I refused to have any anticipation of how it could or should be.  But there is a fine line between expectation and wanting!  I want lots and lots and lots of things, money, health, loving relationships but expecting they will happen is a different thing.  The constant mantra in my head is, the only things I will ever be able to change are my own feelings.  But maybe…just maybe I could have a wild expectation of myself every now and again.
"Jimi Thing"  Dave Matthews Band

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