“There's a deep cultural presumption that creating something out of grief somehow makes it all even out in the end. That presumption does such a disservice, both to the creative practice and to you. We need art. We need to create. It's part of being human. But creating something good out of loss is not a trade, and it's not a cure. Pain is not redeemed by art. Creating something out of what was is no fair trade for not being allowed to continue *living* what was. There is no fair trade. Creative practices can also help you deepen your connection with what is lost. Death doesn't end a relationship; it changes it. Writing, painting, and other creative processes allow the conversation that began in the life Before to continue in the life After. The stories we create are a continuation of love.”
So many of my friends and family felt like my creativity was going to help me through this. I thought the same. But the “attempts” I was making at creativity were horrible! In the past, the work had provided instant gratification (well not necessarily “instant” but gratification) . When consumed with a round of grief I would hole up in the studio certain that creating something, anything would help, but it did not…and the work was bad!
As I learn to separate my grief from creativity it begins to feel like I have found an old friend, I am recovering a part of me, and I am experiencing a new kind of love. My art was a big part of us. My creative work is beginning to be a part of my story not an expression of grief. “Take these Broken Wings” and “Reaching Higher” were both accepted in the Nude Nite Exhibition, They were my first attempt of telling a story rather than expressing grief and it feels like the Universe has responded.....yes!