Don't Talk Like That...
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say "Don't talk like that!"
Monday, May 28, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
1. AMAZING creative friends! Not only talented, but an absolute blast to be around. How did I get so flippin lucky!?
2. SISTERS…..whew! Can never have enough, and I have the best!
3. My little studio, crammed full of colors and fun stuff, memories of what I used to be and the promise of what can still be!
4. A husband that does not expect crappy “wifey woman” stuff. If house chores and cooking don't get done because I am in the studio working (or having a bad day) NO BIG DEAL….
5. And again - and always….my incredible heart!
This year’s summer Artist’s Way group is about to begin and my first thought is to run like hell to a safe hide out. I worry that I will not have enough breath to talk as much as I need to especially the first class, when it is all me.
I wonder how many of the new members of the group, will notice.
Or will they care?
Can I be as candid, outrageous and enthusiastic as I need to be? Can I still dance, sing and laugh like I used to?
Can I let go of all of my fears and ego to embrace my own creativity enough to guide them back to theirs?
I have mourned the loss of the life I knew waiting patiently for a new life to miraculously appear…
It has not….
I am the one that allowed heart failure to take them away from me and now I want them back!
It is time for me to screw up my courage and go get my life!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
My once in a "blue moon"!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
"You are the sun, I am the moon
You are the song, I am the tune,
Play me" Neil Diamond
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
That Cheryl would never be afraid of teaching a new class; she would be reveling in anticipation. I want her back.
That Cheryl would be dancing in moonlight celebrating a new exhibition opening not second guessing herself, scared to death.
I want her back! Damn it, I want her back!
Saturday, May 5, 2012
It was terrific…
So…. here is what I figured out in one afternoon
There is a huge amount of energy and power in doing what scares me.
Feel the fear and do it anyway!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Getting to be a part of a dear creative friend’s preparations to “launch” on to the art show circuit was a hoot! Quite by coincidence, she bought a tent just like mine. We had a tent virgin practice set up, in the front yard that involved wrestling with “miles “ of canvas and retractable poles not to mention all of the little tips and tricks Skip and I have learned over the years including how to build the infamous Evans' Art Show Lanai….. so many grand stories happened behind our tent! I had great fun watching them begin this adventure and for just a little while, I lived vicariously through them, but it also reminded me how much I loved and miss this life.