life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Friday, May 25, 2012

Screwing Up My Courage!

Knees are shaking, heart is pounding…
This year’s summer Artist’s Way group is about to begin and my first thought is to run like hell to a safe hide out.  I worry that I will not have enough breath to talk as much as I need to especially the first class, when it is all me. 
I wonder how many of the new members of the group, will notice. 
Or will they care?
Can I be as candid, outrageous and enthusiastic as I need to be?  Can I still dance, sing and laugh like I used to? 
Can I let go of all of my fears and ego to embrace my own creativity enough to guide them back to theirs?
I have mourned the loss of the life I knew waiting patiently for a new life to miraculously appear…
It has not….
I am the one that allowed heart failure to take them away from me and now I want them back! 
It is time for me to screw up my courage and go get my life!

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