life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I want her back

My well  worn  art show chair, a glass of pinot, a rising full moon, and a heart full of memories and my imagination should be soaring forward.  But, I am finding it is so much easier to drift backwards when I was confidently clear about who I was and where I was going.   Where is that Cheryl, I want her back!

That Cheryl  would never be afraid of teaching a new class; she would be reveling in anticipation.   I want her back.
That Cheryl would be dancing in moonlight celebrating a new exhibition opening  not second guessing herself, scared to death. 
I want her back!  Damn it, I want her back!

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