life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Tuesday, May 22, 2012

A Week in the Studio...

The house is a mess, weeds have taken over the flower bed, I have not cooked a thing in days (this is a good thing!), folded clean laundry stacked, but not put away and it does not bother me one bit!

I have nasty methylcellulose (from the wet layered papers) stuck in places on my body it should never be, and a cloud of chalk dust that follows me around like Pig-Pen in the Charley Brown comic strips.

Between paper layers drying, I’ve sung and danced (badly) to The Beatles, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Van Morrison, Led Zeppelin, Chicago , etc. as it blasts through the house (surprised the neighbors have not complained…yet)

The studio smells like an industrial “haz-mat” area from all of the spray fixative

I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs to all of my doubt and fear.

“Look out world…...SHEEEEEEEES BACK!”

There is NO drug in this world that could give this life back to me!

I had to figure it out alone...It had to be me...It is me!

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