Ok….” survivor” may not be the best portrayal of my current situation, but it works for me and I will proudly wear that label. I related immediately to the opportunity to write and to “define my own reality” in this quote. The current reality is so different than anything I could have possibly imagined! Really, I never considered how I would die, how long would it take, would it hurt, how would my family and friends handle it. Never once did I ask myself, how would “I” handle it. Most of my life has been wrapped around taking care of others, anything less than made me a bad mother, a bad wife, narcissistic and an ugly person. Figuring this out for me is very strange. I am really not looking for anyone to agree with me, understand me, feel sorry for me or help me through it. I am just trying to figure out how to do this, for myself…out loud. It may sound selfish; it might make some feel uncomfortable and for that, I do apologize. I am doing the best I can, by the seat of my pants and it is raw and scratchy!
"Message to Myself" Melissa Etheridge