Most of my life, including my art career, I depended on what people thought of me. If I was
well-behaved enough, I was a good little girl. As I grew older, I struggled to be
a popular teenager, a good wife and a successful mother. Even in my older years, I had to be a good artist so they would buy my work. Now, I have to follow facility
rules, see docs, have tests, take meds, and never complain. I never felt good enough when I was just me.
Following necessary rules is one thing, but years of mashing me into socially “normal” roles defined by others must end. Maybe
it is time I quit complaining or caring what other people think. It is time for me to just be me. The way I
think…the way I do things is going to have to be enough to be beautiful from
now on.
Today I am grateful for: friends that are helping me sell
my stuff, Luda, the housekeeper that takes care of my apartment, the good
med-techs I have (but there are many more incompetent, disagreeable ones)
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