life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Don't want to miss it!

This also has an alternate beginning….If I wait until someone else says I am ready…

I spend a great deal of time trying to decide “should I do this?”  My left brain (AKA my internal censor) kicks in and begins measuring every opportunity asking
“Is it good for me?”
“What will they think of me?”
“Why?”
“Who do you think you are?”

And every question seems to boil down to one 4 letter “F” word, and it is not what you might think it is......  FEAR!

I want to let go of that ugly word, that miserable feeling!
"Fear"  Jazmine Sullivan

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