life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, October 6, 2015

When Words Fail...Music Speaks...


Lyrics from Sara Bareilles' "She Used to be Mine"  spoke to my heart today!

"It's not simple to say, Most days I don't recognize me
With these shoes and this apron, That place and it's patrons
Have taken more than I've gave them, It's not easy to know
I'm not anything like I used be, Although it's true
I was never attention sweet center, But I still remember that girl

She's imperfect but she tries, She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself, She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy but she's kind, She is lonely, most of the time
She is all of this, mixed up, And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

And it's not what I asked for, Sometimes life just slips in through a backdoor
Carves out the person and makes you believe it's all true, And now I've got you
And you're not what I asked for, If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over, And rewrite an ending or two, For the girl that I knew

Would be reckless, just enough, Who get hurt
But who learns how to toughen up, when she's bruised
And gets used by a man who can't love, And then she'll get stuck and be scared
Of the life that's inside her, Growing stronger each day
Til it finally reminds her, To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes, That's been gone, but it used to be mine, Used to be mine

She is messy, but she's kind
She is lonely, most of the time
She is all of this, mixed up, and baked in a beautiful pie

She is gone, but she used to be mine "                            ~Sara Bareilles
                                                                   
"She Used to be mine"  Sara Bareilles

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