life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Thursday, October 29, 2015

Frankenstein has nothing on me!

Frankenstein has nothing on me!  At the risk of sounding morbid and gross…but it is Halloween week after all!  I have got me some scars….9 kidney surgeries, 2 C-sections, 1 thyroid, a several skin cancers and now open heart.  That last one left me several fresh new ones and another surgery being scheduled soon. But then I suspect in today's world and at my age, who doesn’t?  Quite frankly for me, they are embarrassing and a constant reminder of how fragile my body and this life can be….and  that is when the fear begins to slip in.  I forget to remember how strong I have been, how many unsurmountable (and a few weenie) health issues I have overcome, and I slip into the ugly downward spiral of “what if’s”.  What if it happens again, what if they did not get it all, what if it did not work, what if….what if….what if…  I need to remember that those ugly scars are nothing but symbols I carry.   They have made me who I am….Strong!
"Beautiful"    Carol King

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