life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Saturday, October 3, 2015

That is my job...

As I heal, grow and take my power back, there are some big lessons I am learning and this is a big one.   I think I may have known this in my heart all along.  But I have held on so tight to the way I thought life should happen that I have been unable to see this.  I have wanted someone to love me enough to fix me. I have waited and waited, hoping that eventually they would see my pain and fear and fix me.  I know I cannot fix other people or situations, why would I expect that they might be able to fix me, It is not fair for me to expect  anyone else to fix me.....That is my job.
"Never Going Back Again"  Lindsey Buckingham & Stevie Nicks

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