Patience has never been my strong suit, so I have to confess
it is agony waiting and wondering if this surgery worked, if that hibernating
part of my heart is “waking” up with new blood flow. Testing has started, more is scheduled, they
are dragging it out with weeks in between them and still they do not tell me
what my heart is doing. I am a full believer in “no news is good news”, however,
in this case I am beginning to think it is not so. That reality that I never allowed myself to
consider, is slipping into my consciousness. I pinch myself and remember, I had nothing to
lose. This was a long shot from the
beginning, and the absolute worst case scenario would be I am no better off
than when I started, and I had learned how to live and accept that quite some
time ago. Those were the cards I was
dealt, I made the bet and I know for every winner there has to be a loser. I wish I knew which one I was or maybe it is
just still too soon."Closer to Fine" The Indigo Girls
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