life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Sunday, October 4, 2015

it does not mean I have stopped caring....

Whew…that one just shot through me like a bullet!  I have been struggling so much with this one recently.  The only difference I would like to add, and I hope Mandy Hale will forgive me, is to include “expecting” care.  I have had a life time of wanting to be cared for, and when it does not happen, I am the on that feels so worthless.  I have tried to “force” care, I have begged for care, but that does not work either.  I thought the recent heart crisis would change things, but it has only made it worse.  I am letting go….I am letting go of this pain, but it does not mean I have stopped caring.  It means I have stopped letting it hurt me. It means I will care for me.
"You're the Only One in Your Way"  Cloud Cult

"…and by that I mean…If you believe that you are a child of the universe, or a product of Love, and/or a global citizen, then it’s common sense that you care well for yourself. In fact, you’re honour bound to love yourself.
And like, self care as a divine responsibility is more than a monthly pedicure or treating yourself to your favourite pint on Fridays (though both are fab’.) But let’s think more highly of our cosmic selves. Self care is taking the time to recover. It’s sabbaticals to clear your head and chart your course. It’s leaving. It’s investing. It’s asking for more. It’s being protective and tender and limitlessly compassionate with yourself.
Treat yourself like the divine creature that you are…
and then get a pedicure and have a pint."                                        ~Danielle LaPorte                                                   

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