life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Happy Happy Heart Day...I think?


I missed the actual happy heart day, yesterday because of the cruise, so it is a belated celebration.  I always celebrate my heart attack anniversaries by painting my chest but I am not absolutely sure this year is a serious celebration yet, so I only painted it is a small happy heart this year, When I know for sure there will be big big happy heart painting!   Every year on my heart attack day I celebrate and thank my amazing heart that continues to support me in ways that even the doctors find hard to believe.  This year is a bit different, this year my heart was unable to support me like it had in years past, but this year they found some “hibernating” heart tissue and did open heart surgery to try to get it to work again.  8 weeks later, I am still being tested, more tests scheduled, still waiting to find out if it “took”.  The scar is healing, but we still do not know if my heart is healing…Happy Heart Day, my amazing heart….I know you can do it…I believe in you, I believe in me!
"Heart of Gold"  Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
First year...I was too afraid and did not yet believe how much control I had over this.....Not the doctors....not the medicines.....me!  2nd year- but my first painted chest.Super Heart!  3rd year- Big Ole' Happy Heart.  4th year Ejection Fraction stayed at 30...30 Hearts Celebration and this year the  5th Little but tough! My heart has been through so much and still we take care of each other!

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