life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, November 18, 2016

Control is where my power is....

This needs to be today’s mantra….well hell!  This needs to the mantra every day!  The further I get down this path the more I realize how very little control I have over anything!  I  used to replace the word control with the word choice or choose, feeling totally willing and able to take responsibility for myself and the choices I made., knowing I made them by considering all of information and resources available to me.  In today’s world, with the current medical industry, they make all of the choices and if you do not agree with the choices they make for you,  and then “pay for their choices” you are less of a person and unworthy of their attention or their medical care, which I am paying for.  I do have control over my own life, how I chose to live, and where I spend my limited resources.
"Funny the Way it is"  Dave Matthews Band

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