For a while I allowed myself to believe that if I was strong enough, smart enough,
positive enough and focused enough that I could beat this. If I did everything they told me to do, focused all of my resources, had all of the
invasive tests, took the meds (even the ones that make me tired and lethargic),
had open heart surgery, survived the unplanned TIA and kidney shut down, let them implant an S-ICD in my body to prevent sudden cardiac death I could fight the good
fight and with all of these medical procedures, resources and my determination I
could win. I could win! I have fought tooth and
toe-nail, and spent the better part of this past year devoting all of the financial,
emotional, physical and medical resources at my disposal and the reality is….I am
not winning. I am asking myself now… how
much more of my precious life am I going to spend in the negative mind set of fighting
an unwinnable war. This is my time…time to refocus all of my beautiful energy and
my available finances into loving, playing, creating, learning, teaching…..Not
more destructive fighting! This is not giving
up….This is empowering …..it is claiming life…. the best life I can have ….. every
single amazing love filled moment of it! From the voice in my heart brilliance emanates...I know it
is time for me to live!
"Connected" Eric Bibb
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