life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, November 6, 2016

alright.....


Even if it is not going to be alright!  I know I spend a great deal of time alone, and to be perfectly honest it is easier to be alone than to be around others that are uncomfortable with the situation I am in.  I want you to know, I understand why you are uncomfortable, hell….I am too.  I bounce unpredictably between needing to talk about it and wanting to ignore it.  I am not certain from day to day if I want empathetic understanding or a swift kick in the pants and a full glass….(or bottle)  of chilled wine. It is a horrible see-saw of ups and downs!  
Sometimes I just want to know I am alright.
"Distance"  Christina Perri

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