life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Shutting Down

I move from strong, hard ass, independent to wounded, sensitive, failure on a daily basis.  Yes, I am strong sometimes, I like being full of strength and resolve, but more often than not, I just plain hurt.  It is a pain created by years of not being heard, seen or valued.  Art gave me value, above everything else,  When I shut down there was art. I was not seen or heard but my art was.  

Art is my voice, my ocean. 

I wonder if not being seen or heard is the reason I chose art to speak for me, or did the art choose me when the ideas needed a voice.


"If Only"    Dave Matthews Band

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