life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Shutting Down

I move from strong, hard ass, independent to wounded, sensitive, failure on a daily basis.  Yes, I am strong sometimes, I like being full of strength and resolve, but more often than not, I just plain hurt.  It is a pain created by years of not being heard, seen or valued.  Art gave me value, above everything else,  When I shut down there was art. I was not seen or heard but my art was.  

Art is my voice, my ocean. 

I wonder if not being seen or heard is the reason I chose art to speak for me, or did the art choose me when the ideas needed a voice.

"If Only"    Dave Matthews Band

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