life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Because I Want to

I wrestle with need vs. want on a regular basis.  The concept is not foreign to me.  I see need as a bad thing. Need robs me of my common sense, my rational thinking, it blurs sound judgment.
There are people, feelings, things that I want, but I will not ever allow myself to need them and there is a huge difference. Wanting lets me make choices. People and things are in my life because I freely chose.  I Made a conscious decision.
Wanting means I have freely chosen. No more needing.
I am letting go of everything about needing, making room for the new experiences of  wanting.  Wanting to dance, to love, to create and bring images from my imagination into the world. Wanting to make a difference by encouraging other marvelous creatives to do the same.  Not because I need to, but because I want to.

"Gone (going)"   Jack Johnson

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