life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, October 23, 2016

Steering into the direction of the skid....

This is another one of those sayings that just seems to be counter intuitive.  You know like when the driver’s ed teacher told you “if your car goes into an out of control skid…do not stomp on the brakes or wildly try to steer out of it, instead…do not brake and steer into the direction of the skid”.  What in the world made the instructor think I could do that….it just is not a conscious decision it's instinct! I think it falls under the heading reflex survival.  I always felt that fearlessness comes from instinctive self-preservation, brute strength and unflappable resolve but maybe that is not how this real fearlessness works. I have inkling deep down in my heart that it is not about self preervation….that it is more about  about acceptance, love and tenderness.  I know….it does not make sense…but more like what that driver’s ed teacher said. 

I am just trying like crazy not to “stomp on the brakes or wildly steer out of the direction of the skid”.
"Ironic"  Alanis Morrisette

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