life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, October 31, 2016

me.....




Sometimes….I am exhausted from the “you will feel better, if you think I am feeling better” performance.   I learned it early in life, and have been doing it  ever since to protect me.  If you do not know I am hurting, you will not ask questions.

I want desperately to figure out how not just perform so they think this is how I am….but to really really really be the happy, bright, smiling, laughing me! 


"Me" Paula Cole

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