I have always known in some areas of my life I am and have been a strong woman, I had to be, to create the "stay inside the lines" "Leave it to Beaver" family, it was my job to make the world believe that it was what we were.. I had to be strong, it was not a choice. When I married I had the fairy tale vision of “happily ever after family” I had no idea of what it would turn into. I never would have chosen a life of married, make believe loneliness. I had to be much stronger than many other married women I knew just to survive and for the most part surviving was marginal. Maybe all of the loneliness and the times I was left alone to raise my family, work, manage the the house, repairs, cars and kids activities was in preparation for where I am now. Now I am a woman of strength, loneliness and make believe and again I have had to be strong. I am going through this most difficult part of my life alone. Each day of this journey is harder and harder and I become stronger and stronger. I am not complaining, without this strength I do not think I would have made it this far, but sometimes, just every once and a while, it would be wonderful if it did not have to be.
"No Such Thing" John Mayer