life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, August 9, 2016

There won’t be any gifts or parties, but I will be celebrating!

This Saturday will be my 1 year anniversary.  Most likely, I am the only one that will even remember.   1 year ago I underwent some pretty risky open heart surgery to re-vascularize “hibernating” cardiac tissue.  It was one of the hardest thing I have ever done, It was an incredible disappointing failure of the procedure (the hibernating tissue did not “wake up” and My EF is still dances in the 25% range) I suffered from a post op TIA and kidney failure and even more surgery as soon as this healed.   It was a rough couple of weeks months, year!   But I am still here, still living, still creating, still teaching, still laughing, still loving  and I bought myself and my heart a gift to celebrate.  I commissioned the most magnificent jewelry artist to create this for me and it was delivered today.  Made of 3 different metals that represent my mind, body and spirit, the 4 big pieces of my life, my family and the rest is pretty evident and tells my story better than a thousand words.  I am proud…I survived…I am moving forward!

"How Can You Mend an Open Heart"  Al Green & Joss Stone

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