life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

There won’t be any gifts or parties, but I will be celebrating!

This Saturday will be my 1 year anniversary.  Most likely, I am the only one that will even remember.   1 year ago I underwent some pretty risky open heart surgery to re-vascularize “hibernating” cardiac tissue.  It was one of the hardest thing I have ever done, It was an incredible disappointing failure of the procedure (the hibernating tissue did not “wake up” and My EF is still dances in the 25% range) I suffered from a post op TIA and kidney failure and even more surgery as soon as this healed.   It was a rough couple of weeks months, year!   But I am still here, still living, still creating, still teaching, still laughing, still loving  and I bought myself and my heart a gift to celebrate.  I commissioned the most magnificent jewelry artist to create this for me and it was delivered today.  Made of 3 different metals that represent my mind, body and spirit, the 4 big pieces of my life, my family and the rest is pretty evident and tells my story better than a thousand words.  I am proud…I survived…I am moving forward!

"How Can You Mend an Open Heart"  Al Green & Joss Stone

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