life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Sunday, August 7, 2016

If that ends...

Every, every, every time I go into the studio, every time before an opening, every time before beginning a new class, every time I show my own work to anyone for the first time. I am petrified!

When I confess this to others they are surprised, they seem to think I am full of confidence, when the reality is, I am scared to death they are going to figure out that I have no idea what I am doing. I am a giant fraud with a smidgen of talent, or at least enough to fool most people.  Yes there are some things I do rather well, because I have done them over and over and over again, but most parts of my life and art…. I am just sliding in by the seat of my pants. What I do think I know is, the only way to real accomplishment as a person or an artist is to constantly and continually pass through that fear, panic and trepidation. If the fear ends so does my creativity.

"Me"  Paula Cole

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