life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Another's Eyes

I am still learning how to embrace my own thoughts (insanity) I am just beginning to realize I am different and completely vulnerable. It maybe  through that vulnerability that maybe I might find some of my own worth.  But I struggle desperately with finding the strength required to find and maintain my own self-worth, I am frustrated that I still need others approval, or need them to  want  me.  I look through another’s eyes to find what is attractive in me.

"Should Have Known Better" Sufjan Stevens

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