life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Another's Eyes

I am still learning how to embrace my own thoughts (insanity) I am just beginning to realize I am different and completely vulnerable. It maybe  through that vulnerability that maybe I might find some of my own worth.  But I struggle desperately with finding the strength required to find and maintain my own self-worth, I am frustrated that I still need others approval, or need them to  want  me.  I look through another’s eyes to find what is attractive in me.

"Should Have Known Better" Sufjan Stevens

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