life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Saturday, August 20, 2016

All I need to do....

Yesterday was a “come Jesus moment”…I have known, lived and been party to the fact that heart failure is terminal, I even had what amounted to a back room confession from a PA some time ago that my prognosis was about 6 years.  Although I wanted to know how long, when I got it, it was like waving a red flag in front of a bull, I am going to beat this!  Yesterday, 2 months short of my 6 years, and after a year of absolute hellish surgeries and long miserable recoveries, they suspect something is going bad...again.... and have scheduled ugly tests.  It was like I was socked in the gut….hard… Now all I need to figure out why “I HAVE to” keep doing this. 
"Connected"  Eric Bibb
Just a side note….Religion, Church and/or Jesus have nothing to do with this, there is no magic… but my connections to the universe, connections to life, love, friends, family, creativity and the mysteries of life and death do. Those are my connections, those are my reasons, there is my why! 

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