life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Thursday, August 11, 2016

In that moment....

Comparing movies with a friend and “The Bridges of Madison County” was mentioned.  I had not seen it, I remember all of the talk about it sometime ago, but I never saw it, not even on VHS or DVD.  How did that happen?  I looked up the year it came out….oh…. 1995.  That explains it,  two teenage boys, running my own business, a barely there husband,   testosterone was literally dripping off  the walls.  I would not dare to bring a romance movie into the house.  There was such an incident after I brought in “Steel Magnolias” Then there was an out and out mutiny when I brought home “The Princess Bride”.  I had to swear within an inch of my life that there were fights and swords, kings and trolls.  I was exonerated.  But I knew better than to even attempt another romance movie and for years I didn’t.
So with the boys long gone, the living room empty and I am in absolute total control of the remote, I searched Amazon and rented it for the evening, then curled up in my chair with a glass of Reisling and watched. OMG….I recognized so much in the story, in the main character Francesca, her life, her frustrations, her sacrifices and most of all, her heart!  I kept having to stop and replay some of the magnificent dialog.  Some of the passages burned me like a hot poker others my heart recognized immediately …. I cried like a baby at the end and then...... watched the movie all over again!
“And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before.”
Robert James Waller, The Bridges of Madison County
"Backbird"  The Beatles

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