life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Thursday, August 11, 2016

In that moment....

Comparing movies with a friend and “The Bridges of Madison County” was mentioned.  I had not seen it, I remember all of the talk about it sometime ago, but I never saw it, not even on VHS or DVD.  How did that happen?  I looked up the year it came out….oh…. 1995.  That explains it,  two teenage boys, running my own business, a barely there husband,   testosterone was literally dripping off  the walls.  I would not dare to bring a romance movie into the house.  There was such an incident after I brought in “Steel Magnolias” Then there was an out and out mutiny when I brought home “The Princess Bride”.  I had to swear within an inch of my life that there were fights and swords, kings and trolls.  I was exonerated.  But I knew better than to even attempt another romance movie and for years I didn’t.
So with the boys long gone, the living room empty and I am in absolute total control of the remote, I searched Amazon and rented it for the evening, then curled up in my chair with a glass of Reisling and watched. OMG….I recognized so much in the story, in the main character Francesca, her life, her frustrations, her sacrifices and most of all, her heart!  I kept having to stop and replay some of the magnificent dialog.  Some of the passages burned me like a hot poker others my heart recognized immediately …. I cried like a baby at the end and then...... watched the movie all over again!
“And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before.”
Robert James Waller, The Bridges of Madison County
"Backbird"  The Beatles

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