life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

or....maybe it is just the heat....

Inner strength is one thing, and it is a great thing, but there is another necessary part that really is best when mixed with it….and that is the physical strength and ability to do what I want/need to do!  I know most think I do a lot, but no one really sees how much I sit in front of this computer or read or sit day dreaming about art projects. Exhaustion is like a heavy black cape that just covers me after the smallest activity.  Simple everyday life and house chores, which granted, I never enjoyed doing now take so much longer and exhaust me I mean, really really wear me out.  I am frustrated that I am working so hard to find and hold on to my emotional inner strength while my physical strength is seems to continue slipping away from me. I am afraid this is how this disease works…and I HATE it!  DAMN! ( or.... maybe it just the summer heat!)                
"More o' that"  Eric Bibb

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