life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, August 16, 2016

or....maybe it is just the heat....

Inner strength is one thing, and it is a great thing, but there is another necessary part that really is best when mixed with it….and that is the physical strength and ability to do what I want/need to do!  I know most think I do a lot, but no one really sees how much I sit in front of this computer or read or sit day dreaming about art projects. Exhaustion is like a heavy black cape that just covers me after the smallest activity.  Simple everyday life and house chores, which granted, I never enjoyed doing now take so much longer and exhaust me I mean, really really wear me out.  I am frustrated that I am working so hard to find and hold on to my emotional inner strength while my physical strength is seems to continue slipping away from me. I am afraid this is how this disease works…and I HATE it!  DAMN! ( or.... maybe it just the summer heat!)                
  
"More o' that"  Eric Bibb

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