life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Energy saving mode

I am not sure who, if anyone sees when I “fall down” but it always feels like everyone is watching.  At times I think they are even laughing, pointing fingers and saying “I told you so”.  My art demons, become heart failure demons, whispering in my head….”Who do you think you are?  Did you really think you were better than everyone else and were not going experience physical heart failure like the rest of us? You were told, and you just ignored it, now….look at you?” Physical pain and overwhelming lethargy invite such ugly thoughts into my life.  This is not a decline….this is just my energy saving mode….It is so hot, everything was just so heavy, I just did too much and now I am paying for it.
"Sitting on the Dock of the Bay"  Ottis Redding

No comments:

Post a Comment