I am not sure who, if anyone sees when I “fall down” but it
always feels like everyone is watching.
At times I think they are even laughing, pointing fingers and saying
“I
told you so”. My art demons, become
heart failure demons, whispering in my head….
”Who do you think you are? Did you really think you were better than
everyone else and were not going experience physical heart failure like the
rest of us? You were told, and you just ignored it, now….look at you?” Physical
pain and overwhelming lethargy invite such ugly thoughts into my life. This is not a decline….this is just my energy
saving mode….It is so hot, everything was just so heavy, I just did too much and now I am paying for it.
"Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" Ottis Redding
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