This goes for everything, not just imagination! Lacking deadlines and other “have to do’s” I
find that motivation to do anything takes much more effort. Of course, a good part of that is due to my
physical restrictions. But most of this
frustration is coming from my own acceptance of them! Until just a while ago I bucked those
restrictions, forcing my body to do things (and at that point, I still could)
but paying the physical price afterward (aches, pains, fluid build-ups, and
killer muscle cramps). Then another
decline and the ability to DO them at all happened. It was not “do” them, then pay for it later…It
was just plain no strength to do them at all!
That brought on some of the most horrendous frustration and depression I
have ever experienced!
Acceptance has a whole new meaning. I always felt that acceptance was going to be
all about the actual death, but it is about accepting what this body can and
cannot do anymore. I suspect the actual death is going to be the easiest part of
all of this. It is the day to day
frustrations that make me emotionally and physically crazy! When I am working so hard to make this part
of life some of my best, I have to live with the fact that it is not just about
making up my mind to do it. This
physical vessel I live in is no longer cooperating.
It is only my imagination, my words, my thoughts that go on unaffected
and I plan to keep chasing them with a club!
"Pure Imagination" Glee
No comments:
Post a Comment