life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Perhaps I need to re-think this spanking thing!


It was such a weird day!....I have been wrestling with this really pesky issue of holding fluid…disgusting amounts of it! My heart just is not strong enough anymore for my kidneys to do their job.  I really do look and feel like “Sponge Bob Square Pants”.  One of the ways I handle some of the physical changes and my creative frustration is by sewing new clothes…I may look and feel like crap on the inside…but honey…I still want to look good.  I have a “stash” of fabrics…I confess that I may be a serial “saver” (a.k.a. hoarder) I have a laundry basket that is full of fabrics that I have picked up over the years with no particular plan in mind…Usually, it was a “sale” I just could not pass up. These recent sewing projects have made great use of them.  I have made quite a few simple summer dresses, but this week I  made a pair of simple elastic waist loose (comfortable) shorts.  And proudly put them on in the morning…only to have them fall off of me and I do mean fall apart and fall off of me…the damn fabric had apparently rotted while sitting for years waiting for me to decide what to do with it….This was truly a first for me! Rotten shorts!....who knew…and what’s more, how did I not realize it while I was sewing?  JEEEZE!!!


Then the nurse came… And there are more med changes…that is not necessarily a bad thing, in fact, it usually means I will be a bit more comfortable or have a little more energy, but what it does always mean is that my heart is getting weaker. AUGH!!!

And then finally…my laptop (8 months old) crapped out!  Yesterday’s error message….and a new one for me was “NO BOOTABLE DEVICE”.  Luckily, I have a computer Guru for a son!  I described to him what happened before the rude error message and he instructs me to close up the computer, turn it upside down on my lap, then smack it a couple of times on its backside….  ARE YOU FRIGGEN’ KIDDING ME!!!

And it worked…(the hard disk apparently had just gotten a bit out of “flat” and was not spinning). 
The only thing that I was able to fix, make work or feel better about is literally
the thing I spanked! 
Perhaps I need to re-think this spanking thing!

"Won't Get Fooled Again"  The Who
3 things...
...my shorts did not fall apart in front of anyone
...if these meds work it will be sooooo much better
...the computer works.....YAY!

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