life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Thursday, September 17, 2015

How I get through this!

Just spent the last couple of days in doctors’ offices and 4 week checkups.  Aggravated and pissed at my body for taking such a long time to recover.  Although I have been assured that I am doing well and my expectations have been totally unreasonable, this is going to take a longer time than I could have possibly imagined.  How did I miss this in the pre-op preparations?  It is my opinion that they did not tell me, or anyone else for that matter.  No one would ever agree to this if we had a clue what the recovery would be like!

Whether they did or didn’t, is irrelevant now!  I am 4 weeks in, so that means 4 weeks are behind me, and I will assume they were the worst!  There have been some major stumbling blocks, but I think I am past the really bad ones of them now.  I am now officially allowed to drive!  Woo-hoo! But warned about exposure to places with lots of people and bacteria, apparently my immune system is still quite compromised.  Can’t they just say “drive baby drive, you are free”?

In 6 more weeks (again not what I was originally told) we will begin the testing that will determine whether or not the hibernating tissue in my heart is responding and beginning to work!  It is going to be a long 6 weeks of not knowing.

This is more than I could have ever expected, it is done, and my job from here on out is to facilitate pain management and magnificent healing that is how I get through this! Laying down my regrets, I am grateful!
"A Beautiful Day"  India Arie

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