life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, September 25, 2015

Fear is sinister!

Where have I been?  I know this!  But could not apply is to my life, the heart surgery and the heinous waiting I am doing now, waiting to find out if there was or will be any improvement!  Fear has quite literally eaten me alive!  “Fear hates uncertain outcome” whew…… I am engaged in the biggest uncertain outcome of my life….no wonder life has been so weird and I have felt so unlike me.  I know and have known for the best part of my life how damaging fear is.  It has been so important for me to know that I had it tattooed on my foot thinking it would be a constant reminder, not to let fear grab hold of me.  But fear is sinister, it takes vigilance!  So now I need to get creative and deal with it!
"Change the World"  Eric Clapton

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