life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, September 21, 2015

Alone again and fighting.


Oh boy, if you only knew how many times I wanted to and sometimes still do want to.... quit. When those times come I sit in my own puddle of tears alone and frustrated, and as much as I think I want someone to come save me I know in my heart there is nothing they can do. This is something I have to do alone. There are many expectations that I have had recently and through all of my life that I have waited patiently for someone to guide me through and they have never arrived. Do I not know how to ask, and if I did  ask I am afraid they would say no or laugh? At any rate, I just need to stand up put on my big girl panties, take care of me and not ask for or expect. Alone Again and if I want to be strong I have to do this alone and it is ok. I am fighting!

"Alone Again Naturally"  Gilbert O'Sullivan

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