life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, September 9, 2015

I might spit....

Caution......Serious GROUSING ahead!
This has been crap!  I have never had anything physically hurt this much and for this long!  Yes I know I have been spoiled over the past few years and the pain I did experience could be quickly dispelled; I mean a matter of seconds, with no pain medicine hang-over….the joys of nitro-glycerin! Now the ribs ache like crazy and the damned incision will not heal and close.  The discomfort and pain is chronic and I am so frustrated with it I want to spit!  I hate this, I hate this….my heart is better but my chest hurts more now than it ever did, it is not how this was supposed to be.  And they all keep telling me relax, it is going to get better, in the meantime time I cannot sit here and let it take over my life, but I might spit!

                                                                             "Jagged Little Pills"  Alanis Morisette

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