life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Monday, September 14, 2015


I have to admit, and I have said it more than once to more than just a few people that if I had to do this all over again, with what I know right now, I never would have done it!  My biggest desire was that I get a longer life with a better quality than I had.  Maybe that was expecting too much, but that is what they said could happen.  It still hurts, is hard to breathe and my quality of life right now sucks!  And all I can do is continue to hope that this a normal part of the healing process, but the reality is the medical industry does not want to deal with this part, they send you home to do this on your own……and it is the hardest part. So….I am going to keep on breathing, keep on walking and keep on going forward the best way I can. But I I do see the cardiologist tomorrow….I hope I will know something wonderful and exciting!  Moving FORWARD!

                   "Arms Around My Life"  Janis Ian

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