life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, September 14, 2015


I have to admit, and I have said it more than once to more than just a few people that if I had to do this all over again, with what I know right now, I never would have done it!  My biggest desire was that I get a longer life with a better quality than I had.  Maybe that was expecting too much, but that is what they said could happen.  It still hurts, is hard to breathe and my quality of life right now sucks!  And all I can do is continue to hope that this a normal part of the healing process, but the reality is the medical industry does not want to deal with this part, they send you home to do this on your own……and it is the hardest part. So….I am going to keep on breathing, keep on walking and keep on going forward the best way I can. But I I do see the cardiologist tomorrow….I hope I will know something wonderful and exciting!  Moving FORWARD!

                   "Arms Around My Life"  Janis Ian

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