life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, September 4, 2015

Again and again and again...

I seem to have had more than my share of again and again.  I have started over too many times recently and all I need to know right now is will I ever get it right?  Maybe the first times I was headed the wrong way and needed to start again to change directions.  Maybe my body has just been screaming at me to slow down, or maybe I want too much, too soon….it would not be the first time that has happened! I do not remember ever having to do anything that has been this physically and emotionally tough,  I was grossly underprepared and it has challenged every single part of me to the extreme.  When I come out of this I will be so so strong and surprisingly….. it is a little better today maybe I am finally headed in the right direction! If not…I will be doing this again and again and again until I get it right!
"He Heals Me"  India Arie

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