life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, September 4, 2015

Again and again and again...

I seem to have had more than my share of again and again.  I have started over too many times recently and all I need to know right now is will I ever get it right?  Maybe the first times I was headed the wrong way and needed to start again to change directions.  Maybe my body has just been screaming at me to slow down, or maybe I want too much, too soon….it would not be the first time that has happened! I do not remember ever having to do anything that has been this physically and emotionally tough,  I was grossly underprepared and it has challenged every single part of me to the extreme.  When I come out of this I will be so so strong and surprisingly….. it is a little better today maybe I am finally headed in the right direction! If not…I will be doing this again and again and again until I get it right!
"He Heals Me"  India Arie

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