life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Trust me on this one!

Until you step away from the normal life you will never know how much trust you will need…or how shaky that trust can be. I am quickly losing that simple undisputed trust we are all born with. It is the trust that our physical bodies and organs will just function and support our life. That the meds will work like they should or that there is a doctor or nurse that can fix it.  It is so simple, so crucial and such an expected underlying concept of trust that we forget about it…until it doesn’t…then the entire concept of trust in anything becomes unbelievably skewed.  The only trust I am left with is the trust in my own emotions and my own spirit. I have to believe with all that I am, that I will just magically know how
what and when.  That is the kind of trust in me that gets really shaky.  Trust me on this one!
"Broken Things"  Dave Matthews Band

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