life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Monday, April 9, 2018

Badass Super Power!

Too sensitive...I have been accused of this all of my life!  As the only female in a house full of men and boys, every time I had a “moment” I was summarily dismissed as the “hysterical female”. God forbid I display any emotion or sensitivity at all….however their burbs, farts, and door slammings were absolutely celebrated!  The message I heard was I was unreasonable for being offended by rudeness.  The same thing happened just about every time I have had a legitimate problem with an art business when there was a problem, they automatically became defensive and I and my legitimate problem was quickly dismissed as coming from the “egotistical unreasonable artist”.  I mean how dare I question a gallery about the whereabouts of a piece of my work or payment for it…either would be fine with me. There was a contract in effect. The underlying message I heard was If  I wanted them to continue representing me and selling my work, I should stop asking questions.  I have been ignoring, throttling and holding back my hurts and feelings my entire life just to have others not have an excuse to dismiss me or my needs as too sensitive.  I am just now realizing this could be my bad ass superpower….Now…I will be brave enough…even if it makes people uncomfortable!
"Light On" Mark Ballas

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