life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, January 8, 2018

...that you cannot see!

“How are you feeling?” and “You look great.”  I get this question and “self” answer on a regular basis!
I saw a quote somewhere that said, “Health is a crown that the healthy wear, but only the sick can see.” It is such a simple quote, but it is the best way for me to describe how I feel when I hear the question.... and the answer…

When I get asked this there are only two answers: “fine” and “yes.” Fine and yes, fine and yes… catching on? These two answers are all I will ever give even when they are 95 percent of the time not true. The truth is, I don’t know if I am feeling better. But…if I try to describe to you how I am feeling you probably won’t understand because I “don’t look sick.” Even if you don’t say those words to me, I see it in your eyes and I see how uncomfortable the pain that you cannot see.... makes you feel.
"Bruised, Not Broken"  Joss Stone
fearless:  my book came...and I am recognizing my today I keep painting and drawing and it does not matter if anyone likes it, or that I think I will be judged ....just doing it!

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