I said going in on Thursday…That the worst that could happen, is that he would say “NO” your heart is not strong enough. And, I would be no worse off than I am now. The reality was, I really wanted to have the security an ICD would bring to my everyday life.
After sitting in an exam room, alone for an hour and a half…..he said “no”! He said “no” while patting my hand, saying the PET scan has possibly detected some “hibernating” previously thought to be dead muscle tissue. All I have to do is consider bypass, re-vascularize that tissue and then he will consider the ICD. (I have been turned down for by-pass…twice, my arteries were in too bad of shape to create a viable graft) When I explained that to him, which is precisely why I was here, his response was, “I am just the electrophysiologist I only deal with the electrical part of your heart, go see about getting more blood to your heart, then come back to see me in October and we will talk about an ICD then. REALLY…????... son of a bitch!
I was sent to him because I could not have by-pass and he is sending me back to the cardiologist to HAVE by-pass..... What the shit! And that explains an entire bottle of wine and a not so good day after….ooooosh. Why do they build up my hopes, send me running after elusive "fixes"? A bottle of wine was the only thing that made sense, because none of this other stuff does!
"Gravity" Sarah Barielles