life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, June 22, 2015

Got my ticket for the next ride!

And…..it is kind of exciting on one hand and scary as hell on the other.  So I am trying very hard not to get invested in any outcomes….just going on the next ride. 

The PET scan showed I have some “hibernating” heart muscle.  Officially that is tissue that is actually alive, but not functioning. A new thoracic surgeon going to look at the possibility of artery and valve replacement in an effort to get more blood into my heart, and maybe, just maybe that hibernating tissue might begin working again.  I know, I know, now that I see it in writing, it really does seem rather far fetched.  I am trying very hard not to get  excited about the possibility, or HOPE,  but it is hard not to.  I know how this works I have been on this ride before.
"Hold on My Heart" Phil Collins

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