life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, September 22, 2016


I want the new experience….it is the never can go back that scares the be-jesus out of me!  For the most part I need to admit to myself that I would not be seeking a new experience, whether creative or personal if my soul was not craving it on some level.  I know deep down on some unspoken level that growth will never happen inside my comfort zone, but there it is….my comfort zone.  The place where nothing is challenged, where I am assured I am safe, where there is no argument or dissent.  I have spent a life time making sure everyone else was stable, sheltered, secure and happy!  And there it is the wretched “happy place” where my role was clearly defined.  The place  I refused to move beyond .  It is time to stretch, before it is just plain too late!
"If You Could Read my Mind"  Gordon Lightfoot

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