life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, September 8, 2016

More amazing things....

Yesterday took every ounce of energy I had just to maintain a minuscule amount of normal!  I think that is what frustrates me the most.  Normal should NOT require more energy it should just be, you know “ehhhh”.  Normal is how I have fooled so many for so long!  I did so much in the past, that now I could do normal without breaking a sweat!  I leaned on my past creative accomplishments as a crutch that allowed me to just show up for life with “normal” and no one seemed to notice.  What the fuck happens to me when normal becomes too hard ....  I want to do more amazing things!

"Waiting for my Real Life to Begin" Colin Hays

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