life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Thursday, September 8, 2016

More amazing things....

Yesterday took every ounce of energy I had just to maintain a minuscule amount of normal!  I think that is what frustrates me the most.  Normal should NOT require more energy it should just be, you know “ehhhh”.  Normal is how I have fooled so many for so long!  I did so much in the past, that now I could do normal without breaking a sweat!  I leaned on my past creative accomplishments as a crutch that allowed me to just show up for life with “normal” and no one seemed to notice.  What the fuck happens to me when normal becomes too hard ....  I want to do more amazing things!


"Waiting for my Real Life to Begin" Colin Hays

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