life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Wednesday, September 14, 2016

and it's Okay.....

I am not so sure it is okay for the people that know and love me.
All I can tell you for sure is that from the bottom of my heart I am trying. With all that I have and all that I am …… I am trying to figure out how to live.  And the only thing I am sure of is… I am doing it wrong!  There are no manuals, no top ten lists, no creative critiques to let me know if I am even close to doing this right the right way.  I am just fumbling through!
I feel like I am off balance, a huge failure, and unworthy of others valuable time.  In that dangerous vacuum, the doctors slip in.  In my desperate search for normalcy, they appear to have all of the magic answers, and out of fear I allow them too. 
When the reality is… I truly need to embrace that I am worthy, balanced  and intelligent enough to find the right answers…… for me.

"Look What You've Done"  Bread

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