life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Perfectionism is toxic for me!

How much longer do I have to fight this demon?   
Perfectionism keeps me operating from a place of shame and not good enough.  My perfectionism is the product of an unseen deity and/or corporate entities that ask me to conform to their beliefs of good and bad.  And if I don’t, I am to to beg for forgiveness and make the appropriate correction  for them to either reward me or withhold their benefits (real or imagined) to punish me and control me.  I see no creativity in perfect.
"Black Bird" The Beatles

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