life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Perfectionism is toxic for me!

How much longer do I have to fight this demon?   
Perfectionism keeps me operating from a place of shame and not good enough.  My perfectionism is the product of an unseen deity and/or corporate entities that ask me to conform to their beliefs of good and bad.  And if I don’t, I am to to beg for forgiveness and make the appropriate correction  for them to either reward me or withhold their benefits (real or imagined) to punish me and control me.  I see no creativity in perfect.
"Black Bird" The Beatles

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