life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, September 26, 2016

Messy, complicated and afraid...

…..but I need to add just a little more to this quote to make it applicable to me.  It does not  seem to matter what my intentions are, the messy, the complicated and the fear always slip in!  Sometimes my difficulties arrive by my own ignorant invitation, other times not by choice at all. They just arrive, demanding my attention! I am learning that simply showing up can sometimes be as horribly damaging and dangerous as not showing up at all.

I have no problem showing up, the challenge is showing up knowing what I need to express and how to do so clearly, showing up focused, confident and kindhearted. 

No matter how I look at it, honoring others, while maintaining my own honor is ….messy, complicated and for me, filled with fear.

"Shine On"  Eric Bibb

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